Recently I did something that I should not have. It was improper, immoral and something for which I am remorseful. It came out of the blue and belies most of the Christian teachings that I strive to live. Now some would say, if they knew what it was, that it’s not a big deal. However, it is certainly something that I would not do it in the window of Macy’s, neither would I want my kids to witness it. But I did it nonetheless. And most significantly (as a Christian) I know that it was done in God’s presence. So why would I do something that I would never do in front of my kids, or friends, or even a stranger, but do it in the presence of God?
Initially I felt that maybe it was because I still do not believe that I was (or ever am) truly in God’s presence. Non-belief is always a possibility. But I truly do believe in the Lord’s presence. (I am always calling out to Him during the day for His strength and guidance.) So I thought a little more. Well, maybe it’s because I know that no matter what I have done, or ever will do, God has already forgiven me because I have made His Son my Lord and Savior:
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight…EPH1:7, 8
But wait. Maybe it is just a reminder that I am definitely not where I need to be, and the next time I am feeling a little cocky about what good guy I am, this will come back to haunt me. That’s certainly more likely. Or, maybe it was simply the earthly power of satan doing a number on my soul…hmmmm…could be. (Somehow, this one seemed the least concerning to me.) Or it could be ‘E’ – All of the above.
Bottom Line is that transformation is not an easy thing to do – much better men (and women) than I have tried and failed including most of the ‘holy’ people in the Bible. But transform we must, whether in this life or the next, God wants all of me** So when we miss the mark it doesn’t mean that we stop trying. It means that we take it as what it is: a step back in our relationship with God that can only be repaired once we accept it and confess it and move on – again like most of the ‘holy’ people in the Bible.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness…1John 1:9
But, if I am forgiven already why do I need to confess my sin? Some of this confused me, so I searched a bit on the web and found something that helped me understand why we can still be forgiven for all of our sins, and yet still need to confess those acts that we know displease God. <Click Here> ….So God? Are we good?
**The Christian way is different: harder, and easier. Christ says “Give me All. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don’t want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked-the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.” – C.S. Lewis – Mere Christianity. Book 4:8
Don’t be so hard on yourself, Robert. I occasionally sneak into the carpool lane when I am by myself, also. Thank you, as always, for the lesson.